You know you are a bush pilot when.... :)

[ITCZ]

Ok, a bunch of us have done it.....

You know you are a bush pilot when....

- you look at that work shirt you wore yesterday and the day before and you think, yeah it'll do one more day.

- you have to remember how to speak english to activate your SARWATCH.

- your pax get nervous if you pull out a chart. Don't you know the way?

- you taxi with 10 POB in a C206.

- your Lajamanu pax don't smell so bad.

- you make more money from selling smokes than you make from flying aeroplanes.

- you dream of how many ciggies, KFC and kava deaks would fit into a 737.

- you wonder if you could cross hire a 737 and get it into dumamudgegaart airstrip once you work out how many ciggies/KFC/kava it can bring in.

- you design an underbelly pod for the 737 to get pax and ciggies/KFC/kava in in one trip and charge for both.

- you can't trust your employer to pay you award wages, but you trust the pilot from the other community to hold $10,000 in cash for you.

- Instead of J-Lo's butt in your bed or a Ferrari under your @rse, you dream of an ISO tank with an electric pump at your home base.

Others?

[Pinky the pilot]

Dunno about 10 POB in a C206 but I once had 23 POB in a BN2!!(Think it was that many!):hmm:

You only live twice. Once when
you're born. Once when
you've looked death in the face.

[Woomera]

Pinky. Good, but you don't get the prize. I know of.........

120 in a DC3.
29 in a Bandit.
19 in a C402.

Woomera

[tipsy]

Memory is a bit dim, but I think it was

78 Adults
30 something children/infants
and at least the same total number of pigs & chickens


CV2B, SVN '68

tipsy:ouch:

[Transition Layer]

What a great thread, unfortunately I can't contribute much to the POB discussion but here are a few other offerings:


You know you are a bush pilot when...

- the dusty-looking, slightly overweight chick who just started working at the pub actually appears good looking

- you go to Broome/Darwin or some other 'big smoke' and eat nothing but Maccas/KFC/Pizza Hut/Eagle Boys for a couple of days to satisfy your junk food urges

- you think nothing of a 30 person brawl outside the pub on a Friday night, crowbars included, and just keep on stumbling home

- you haven't had a 'proper' haircut in a year, except for a number two with the clippers every couple of months

- you haven't worn shoes (other than your work blundies) in a long long time

- you actually start to understand what the bloke on HF is saying


I'm sure others can do much better!

TL :ok:

[Mr. Hat]

when you start knowing the difference between one green frog and another hanging on for dear life when you flush the toilet.

when you use a whipper snipper with no guard, no safety glases and you've been tasked to trim the weeds around the mechanics shed.

when hair in your food no longer phases you.

when you eat mince meat or steak for breakfast.

when you eat smoko sandwiches with blood guts and dirt caked on your hands and just shrug your shoulders.

when going to Tennant Creek or Mt. Isa feels like you are in Paris or New York. Now you are really hitting the big time - Mt. Isa is an MBZ.

Gee it makes you appreciate the smaller things in life. I'd kill to be tree tops in that little machine again.

[Capt Fathom]

POB records are not counted if you had the seats out! :E

[Tagneah]

You hang a piece of Black paper on the back of your door.

Ahhhh hang on............ Its white!!!!!

Time to get out of here!

[hoss]

You know you've been a 'Bush Pilot' when the Airline you now fly for has those 'Black-fella Samsonites' for excess baggage and you remember all the turtle meat and dugong those things could carry and you look to see if blood is dripping out every time you see one in the terminal. :)

[NotAnIssue]

You know you're a bush pilot when:

- The only sealed strip you land on is your home base one, and even then only if you're lucky

- You get excited about going into controlled airspace, only to realise you haven't done it in so long, you sound like a looser on the radio with no idea

- You don't need to worry about the rules regarding life jackets because the nearest large body of water (sewerage tanks excluded) is about 1,500Km's away

- GPS becomes your primary means of navigation, because you're sick of drawing lines on maps to dot's (communities) where there's supposed to be an airstrip (in the vicinity anyway...)

Ahhhh, the joys of GA.

NotAnIssue

[vh-oja]

You know you are a bush pilot when:

You're the only person in a 200km radius wearing jocks.

You know which abc presenter will be on the radio any time of day.

You kill 3 snakes and a feral cat with a stick on the walk over to the hangar .

You hop on the ttr-250 and rip up the airstrip to chase the horses out before they crap all over it.

You can steer a 44 gal. drum purely with you're feet

You've pushed the Garmin 100 to the edge of the envelope.

The crazy woman that runs Mt Isa Airport yells at you to get off the tarmac, (no one wearing a pair of wranglers and slightly faded work shirt could possibly be a pilot?)

You have trouble remembering how to do a circuit at 1000'AGL

:D

[Pinky the pilot]

Oi Woomera; 19 in a 402 y'say??
To paraphrase a former Qld politician......."please explain"
A PM will do if you don't wish to incriminate yourself!:E

You only live twice. Once when
you're born. Once when
you've looked death in the face.

[lokione]

When you've got leaves in the wheels - hmmmmmmm just made it off again. :mad:

[Chimbu chuckles]

Woomera was that doing shuttles between Open Bay and Rabaul in concert with an E55 Baron...30 pax on the last flights (11 in the Baron) and off for a afternoon scuba dive:ok:

Personal best 42 in a Twotter/20 in an Islander..woulda been 21 but one guy was, apparently, one of the few survivors of Tony Stevenson's (RIP) wreck and wouldn't go...big girl :E

Oh and you know you're a bushpilot when sectors flown outnumber hours flown 4-1.

When close shaves that would scare any normal pilot into retirement don't raise the pulse.

When you think in the local language while speaking it.

When 1000 agl seems really high.

When 20 agl seems pretty high.

When the first thought post bird strike is "Hah...made ace!"

Leaves? Try banana leaves after landing....honest it just appeared from nowhere and hit me...then dissappeared again:ooh:

When a deliberate ground loop and application of takeoff power is deemed a legit braking technique and has been used by more than one of your mates.

When you slide down the Markham river to the coast...really low and do a rate one turn onto finals without seeing the runway...and one of th senior pilots says "which way did you get in Chuck?" "Down the Markham at dot feet" "what about the power lines?........."Power lines?":confused:

[steelcraft]

About time we had a decent post on this website.

[Triple B]

When in the days of Flight Service (pre Dick Smith),Brisbane FS ask for the runway your using on HF for landing, as you cancel sar,and your reply is ""Whats a runway""

When you call Dubbo FS and cancel sar watch at ""The pub"" and at ""Gin City""

I love it

[OzExpat]

Dubbo FS? :eek: Geez, Triple B, you must be as old as I am to be able to remember THOSE halcyon days of yore! :D

[SkySurfin]

You have to buzz the airstrip 3 times to get the elephants to at least move to the side. Only to go-around again at 2 feet off the deck cos an Impalla has jumped out in front of you.

You look at the temperature inside the plane and it is well past 50 degrees, there is nowhere to hide.

Your GPS drops out and you have to fly for over 2 hours on a set compass heading.

You land at an airstrip and then have to wait in the plane until a couple of lions move off from their afternoon rest.

You dont recognise your 206 because of its fancy new mud/dirt paint variation.

You fly an 8 hour day in the seat and then you get up and do the same the next day and the next and the next........

You become good at handling your drink but not so good with the ladies!

[Will Robinson]

You know your a bush pilot when,

When you climb to 500' to do the "right thing " joining the circuit, but by the time you get to base your back at 200' were it's more comfortable.

When landing on that strip you saw by the yards or bore to clean oil off your windscreen every 15 minutes dos'nt faze you.

You claim your swag on your tax as an accomodation expense, and it's the truth.

You and your pax are approved to carry a weapon for survival purposes.

The local girls have taken a likeing to you and have started following you around.

The HF guy dosn't use your callsign to call you because your the only one on the frequency and he only wanted a chat anyway.

[Fission]

....
when you can neatly park your B58 between two roadtrains in the yard...

come to think of it, that runway did seem a bit narrow!


___________
Fizzy

[Pinky the pilot]

Ah yes Will Robinson; The local girls have taken a.......
I can remember that nearly every time I flew into Efogi on the 'Jungles run' that a few of the local young ladies would come up to me and give me some fresh vegetables and say somewhat shyly.... "These are for you Mr Pilot"
And they always tasted better(the vegies that is) than the ones I used to buy at the "Stop and Steal" in Boroko.

You only live twice. Once when
you're born. Once when
you've looked death in the face.

[Towering Q]

vh-oja ...love ya work.:ok:

[troppo]

when GT's silverbelly rant begins to make a whole lotta sense
when the smell of coconut oil in short black curly hair is the most erotic smell you've ever known
when the smell of coconut oil in short black curly hair in the morning becomes a daily occurence
when you start going north rather than south for RnR ;)
when the balus you are flying was in png before u were even born

ahhh...sweet memories :D

[Deaf]

When you make an AIRMOVE priority call to Dubbo FS (reverse charges) to lodge a flight plan with SARWATCH initiated at first light and they don't query the 120knt groundspeed on the first 2hr leg (in a C150)

[Will Robinson]

It was the end of a long flight one day and I finished up in Long reach, the flightservice officer asked me were i was staying and I said I hadn'nt chosen yet. He imediatly told me the best place to stay in town and booked it for me, saved me the taxi fare and as he had also noticed me watching the model aeroplanes flying from the apron started to explain why they were there, and that they had a radio and landed before traffic arived. I told him I used to fly r/c planes and wanted to have a look, well I got the grand tour of the local club, and town and then delivered to my hotel, It turned out the F.S. officer was one of the main aeromodelers.:D

[bingomakintosh]

Hoss's remark about the Dugong brought it all back.

like 100+ kg's overweight in the 206 with a couple of builders, dogs and all their s:mad: t, unstrapped down performing negative G's, just so you can get a rise out of them and yourself.

like crossing the ADIZ at F280 and penetrating Aussie airspace for 90 miles without a clearance just so you can see your old home, and you know coast watch would have no idea anyway.

I could go on but I'd be in tears by the end.

If they paid more we'd still be there.

B

[ITCZ]

Remembered another few...

... when you are asked if you want to take a plane back to Darwin for a 100 hourly, but stop and weigh up whether a couple of nights at The Vic etc is worth remembering how to fly in CTA.

... you look at the MAF pilots and think they are on a good wicket. House, wife, and an electric bowser. Man that's civilised. Maybe I could fake the god bit.

... Company procedure following a forced landing is to take the pilot to the pub and get him mightily pissed first, fill in the ASIR tomorrow.

... Pax manifests only ever have 3 surnames, only the initials change, eg: Wunungmurra G, Wunungmurra A, Wunungmurra F, Wunungmurra infant x3.

... You are filling in a pax manifest (Wunungmurra G, Wunungmurra S...) then you get to the outstation worker that is coming along for the day and think, Hmm, Rory McLenihan, thats an unusual name!

... You are filling in a pax manifest and don't have time for all the stuffing around so today you will write down the names of five AFL players. Yesterday it was English cricketers, tomorrow it will be formula one drivers names.

... When you go to the barge landing on Friday afternoon even though you don't have any freight arriving, you just don't want to miss the biggest social event of the week.

... You think paying $20 for a fried chook at the community takeaway is reasonable. After all it comes with a baked potato.

... You discuss over beers with your colleagues which Darwin funeral director has the best coffins to fit in C206's.

... You and your colleagues watch the new guy carefully and play it cool for a week or two.... he used to be an instructor.

[ringerfromthetopend]

When you eat steak three times a day

When you have to find that drum of fuel in the “far corner” of that 300,00 HA paddock

When your not phased when one of the ringers paints another western star truck logo over the static source.

When you have a roadfront parking space next to the roadtrains at the barkley roadhouse

When you get nervous climbing through 1000 ft on the way to town.

When you “reckon I might just make it over the fence at the end of the cooler yard” if you remove the survival water and those 3 pairs of chain tongs from between the seats.

When Bundy rum doesn’t give you a hangover any more.

When you know it takes 72 seconds to cook a meat pie on the manifold of a 600hp Detroit diesel on the station Kenworth.

[birdkiller]

You know you're a bush pilot when:

...it is your responsibility to maintain the airstrip as well as flying the plane (Many hours spent picking up broken fibreglass cones that had blown all over the horse paddock after dust storms. And rolling and dragging the airstrip. And cutting down the prickly bush that was growing under the windsock and ripping the windsock to shreds)

...a usual work day involves a substantial amount of gardening or cooking, serviceing the generators or vehicles, mincing meat or yardwork

...XXXX gold costs $42 per carton or more

...washing your work clothes sometimes means filling your pockets with washing powder and having a dip in the waterhole

...the headstockman calls you on the UHF and says "the strip is buggered, but I've found a really good place for you to land"

...a weekend back on the East coast means catching the mailtruck to Winton, overnighting at the mailman's house, catching the bus out of Winton the next day and spending the night on the bus to arrive home the following day... only to spend 2 days at home and then do the reverse

...having to roll your swag at 4am every morning out at camp otherwise it would be full of red dust and sand or a brown snake

...after the 7th day in a row of starting work at 4am and finishing work at 8:30pm you casually mention to the manager that you've hit 1000 hours (more like 800 actually) and that you feel a wee bit tired

...while drinking your first beer at a large social function youare amused by a certain cook's foul language and graphic description of how she never shaves her legs and can plait her underarm and leg hair... and she still gets laid

...your mate drives up to visit you when your in town for the weekend and drives through the town and out the other side before he realises that those couple of houses back there must have been the town

...smoko means landing the plane on the road next to a small sanddune, taxiing up to camp, then squatting around a fire with a black coffee (with a little powdered milk if you are lucky), and lots of sugar to mask the taste of dust and dried cattle **** grit in your teeth

[ringerfromthetopend]

Birdkiller.

You dont know nick murray by any chance.

maybe you did some time on Davenport perhaps?

[Chimbu chuckles]

In PNG when I didn't understand the mumbled reply to "Naim bilong yu" I just put Mr Ken Acker, Mrs Ken Acker and bebe Ken Acker...The Family Rock Arpee travelled a lot too.

On a serious note the villagers often were named after things or people they had heard about...there are many Micheal Jacksons in PNG...I once carried Pilatus Porter and his family, including Bebe Pilatus Porter. My girlfriend was a teacher and the mother of one of her students had a baby and proudly announced she was to be named after her..."oh thankyou, how lovely"..."Yes we name it Miss Duckworth!" "Oh no just Joanne" "Oh dat's betta...yes we call it Miss Duckworth Joanne"....and that's what the Bebe was christianed:}

She'd be about 18 by now...so if any of you chaps are flying around Chimbu and carry her you'll know where the name came from. Actually she's probably married with 4 kids by now...so her name is Mr's Duckworth Joanne Arpee:ok: :E

[tinpis]

:E

When youre in the big smoke you catch yourself furtively looking at a white woman.

[Chimbu chuckles]

Don't you mean silverbellys;)

[imabell]

9 (with chainsaws) in a as350 squirrel, tabubil, png. :ok:

and the smell, oh that terrible smell. :yuk: :yuk:

[vh-oja]

........

When the plane smells a bit of spilt rum (ringers), a bit like dingo bait (ringers), a bit like cow s**t (ringers), and a very little bit like a new car (magic tree air freshner on pilots fresh air vent!)

When you put the UHF on scan on the way into Mt Isa and listen to everything going on for a 300k radius around you. (a few interesting conversations!)

When you helped to build your own hangar, layed out every white marker on the strip, and fix up every break in the fence where a cow, horse, or motorbike (sometimes with the ringer still riding) has gone through it.

When you need more take off performance, you grab a chainsaw, hop on the grader and lengthen the strip.

While you've got the machinery you pull out an old fence post that stands precariously close to the strip.

Get screamed at for removing the post (apparently they were going to use it again some day?)

[Whiskey226]

Well not quite bush pilot,
but you know you're a JUMP pilot when...

...You don't know the BEW or MTOW of your aircraft but that's never bothered you
...You can be on the ground from F120 in less than 6 minutes from overhead the field
...You turn finals at 2000ft with standard spacing and still make the keys at 80kts
...You blame your heavily overladen aircraft's lack of climbing ability on mountain waves and everyone agrees
...The stall buzzer goes off when you rotate at 70kts in a 182
...You wonder why your aircraft feels sluggish only to discover there are sill two skydivers hanging from the wingtip
...Fuel starvation is only a serious issue just after takeoff
...The boss tells you your emerg chute "might open" but wouldn't want to test it

[the wizard of auz]

The oil temp is in the green........BEFORE you start the engine.
There is no temp line on the "P" chart for the overnight minimum of your airfield, nevermind the temp for your lunchtime sortie to check troughs and tanks.
The green stains on the leading edge are permanent.
You can change out a wingtip nav light,....... mount, glass and globe in under three minutes.
You actually have spare nav light mounts, glass and globes in the aircraft.
In over 5000 hrs in the same aircraft, you still have never pulled the knob with carb heat written under it........and don't know if its actually connected to anything.
You have done more night landings without a landing light than with one.
You can entertain yourself on a three hour ferry flight, by trying to work out a PNR for that particular flight.
you aircleaner element is cactus after three landings and you become quite proficient at washing them and useing motorbike element oil and avgas to reserect it.
If something falls off the aircraft, and it still flys, you chuck it in the back for the LAME to put back on one day.
You have patches on the patches on your tubes.
You actually know what breed of ride on lawn mower has the same size tubes as your aircraft.
when its smoko time and your close to the road, you land and taxi into a parking bay, to await the arrival of the inevitable old couple with the 4X4 and caravan, and listen intently as they ask silly questions and tell you of their aviating experiances, becuase you know the old duck will eventually make you a cup of tea and give you large pieces of home made cake.
You can instruct the local non reflectives that are working on the ground in their own language.
A small goat track looks like an international runway, and you can place a wheel excactly on the small flat bit between the two big rocks, and then bounce it just enough to clear the rock, and keep the other wheel in the air until just before you get to the big blue bush.
You can land next to a fence and cant open the door coz its to close to the fence...............and its all ops normal.
When heading into maintanace, you can cross the runway at curcuit height at the threshold, and drive downwind, base and final without being any further than 50 meters from it, and then be stopped on the threashold, and needing to power up to get to the taxiway 100 meters further on.

[steamchicken]

The aircraft is the same Kimberley White colour as your workshirt...

[birdkiller]

I climb into the aircraft and the temperature gauge reads 60 degrees. I remove the windscreen shade, start the engine and begin to taxi and the needle drops to 50 degrees C... whew so much cooler!

bk.


ringerfromthetopend: I don't know nick murray, but I certainly know Davenport

[OpsNormal]

BK, it never gets that hot up there..... but you guys get the pretty white clouds to look at the inside of instead of the ugly red ones we get.... :eek:

Just kidding.... :}

BTW, the cattledog is doing well.... :ok: :}

You know you're a bushpilot when....

* You time your approach so as to slide in between two willy willys hanging around the threshold....

* You mutter things about the curvature of the earth when your client turns up with 500kg of "essential" items that must go....

* You taxy IFR with a coffin. Your call is "2 POB - one warm, one cold"

* You slide over the desert and don't need the GPS or charts, as you've seen that creek/rockpile/saltlake so many times now it is like you're driving along HWY 1 instead of navigating over virtually featureless terrain that would have scared you witless not all that long ago.

My 2c.

OpsN. ;)

[steamchicken]

There are other hwys than 1 and 95?

[maxgrad]

giday ops
washapinin?



you know...........when:
the sweat that is pouring off your face and arms makes the flight plan ink run like the Todd in flood(all over the place)
so you advise your geustimate ETA and nail it anyway.

[OpsNormal]

Nomuch eh big Maxxi! :}

Still kicking along head down, bum-up etc.

The view doesn't change much, the number of engines does from time to time, but the temperature is definately on the rise.

I had a really silly question to ask your good self in jest, but will settle for... How's the tribe, and that big plash motaplane? :}

Got those notes for me? :ok:

I'll be belting around your neck of the woods a bit, but to the east of you this weekend. Wont have much time to stop though.

Regards,

OpsN.;)

[gaunty]

Aaaaaaah wiz and all,

fond memories.

Now who is going to write the book, I've got some pics of wiz that could go in it, reckin I'd make more money outa sellin them to him tho! :p :E

[Lodown]

• When you can drop the wheels on a target patch of ground no bigger than the length of the wing chord after an approach with the last segment in ground effect with the airspeed indicator not getting enough airflow to register.
• The dried cow manure under the wings covers a larger area than the oil stain under the fuselage.
• Small termite mounds in long grass are a taxi hazard.
• You know how to blow a nesting insect out of the pitot/static tube.
• A shower of rain in flight is seen as an opportunity to spruce up the aircraft and get it looking nice again.

[frangatang]

You try to land in karumba at night and the lads have arrived from the pub to put out the flares but some wag deliberately made sure the two sides were not parrallel and nearly killed me.

[nick murry]

Hey ringerfromthetopend!!

I know him ;)

[the wizard of auz]

Now who is going to write the book, I've got some pics of wiz that could go in it, reckin I'd make more money outa sellin them to him tho!
Oh Dear.................have I seen them?

[ringerfromthetopend]

Nick Murry.

So you do know him. I believe there was once a song written about him.

Old Nick Murrey had a farm Hey yah what the F#*k,
And on this farm he had a pilot, Hey yah what the F&!k.

Care to fill in the rest cowboy!!

[Triple B]

I was flying in Singapore for a while and met a film producer from oz who was surprised to meet a bush pilot from the days before GPS. I find it hard to exept ""I'm old school"".I fly with some fantastic pilots my junior, in years only.I love flying and love flying with great pilots.
I'm a bush pilot at heart, although love the challenge that automation offers. MCP,FMC,etc......I love it

[Aerodynamisist]

when your replaced the bit of rope on your long since failed nose oleo with a new bit of rope.
when your radios don't work untill passing 5000 because of the heat.

[Tinstaafl]

The windows & all vents in your C210 et al are opened just prior to boarding the load of pigmentally advantaged, odour enhanced countrymen - and only closed once they're offloaded despite the flight through wet season downpours. You start to view it as a value added service, providing in-flight shower facilities since they obviously don't have them on the ground. :yuk:

[goonaboy]

someone mentioned white girls!!!!!!!!!!!

[compressor stall]

When you fly from Halls Creek to Kiwwikurra in a 210 with the window open the entire flight as the stench of the 5 pax who have just spent the morning in a police divvy van in 40 degree temps is a bit overwhelming.

[frangatang]

I knpw a geezer who is now a qantas capt wo,if l remember correctly was loading the partenavia up with the engines running en route arukun to weipa.One of the freight was still sucking
on a stubby when they got airborne so thecaptain wrenched ot off him,threw it out of the storm window,wherupon it bounced off the left prop and put a bloody big dent in the fuselage.

[Manwell]

when you're lined up on short final and realise that the strip has star pickets down the centreline, so you land to one side and then have to jump a washout. The station manager's own idea of indicating strip unserviceability.

when you have to make an emergency landing on an old disused station strip at the neighbours' station because the Boss is desperate for a slash...

when you shut down an engine on descent into home base, and give an PAN PAN, even though you've worked out it's only a gauge problem, just so you can get the bloody slack engineers to actually fix the things you put on the MR..

when you get the sack from an operator and reckon it's a positive career move..

when you reach across a passenger to tighten their seat belt for them and the buckle clanks on the bottle of bundy in their pants.

when you realise that the regulations have virtually no relevance to reality, and that regulators care more for paperwork than true safety,

and when you realise that you are responsible for your own safety, because noone else will care beyond their legal exposure to your actions.

Life's a bitch, then you fly?

[Northern Chique]

You dont bat an eyelid at the dog in the back of the 182.... hes sitting on the sheep making sure it doesnt go anywhere.....

sheezz I havent laughed this hard in a while... great post!

[locusthunter]

You know you're a bush pilot when either:

a) There's a bottle of napisan next to your washing machine and you don't have kids...

or...

b) You don't need napisan coz you don't wear a uniform!


;)

[grrowler]

When you follow the price of redcans, mozelle and blackbox more than the stockmarket, and you know how much they are "worth" at your various destinations, taking into account whether it's pay week and what your opposition is charging.

When you start drinking redcans.

When you have been to the different communities so many times you have created your own scenic STARs and SIDs to alleviate the boredom.

When you figure out you can trim the company's bendy 206 to fly wings levels by hanging your headset bag with your half full water bottle in it on the control column.

When cigarettes are either winny red, winny blue (what!? taylor mades!) or whiteox rollies.

When you start eating at the community takeaway and don't get the trots.

When you wear out your second pair of size 14 double pluggers.

[St Elmos Fire]

You may be a bush pilot IF

When you land in Darwin and realize that you are the only one in 200nm that is not wearing jocks.

Darwin APP asks about your lahso status and you reply, “Yeah, just give me a straight in on V2”. Or you laugh and think about landing across 29/11 just so they don’t ever have to ask you about LAHSO again.

You have an endurance of two hours. Stop and check the fuel and fill up the oil.

You get your pruning endorsement, i.e. greenery attached to wings/wheels on landing.

That 10th bird strike that made you an ace was achieved by taking a whole nest out,,,,,, of a tree.

The station manager’s wife goes through your mail and reads it while you are out.

The station manager’s wife tells you what she read.

The station manager’s wife denies it to your face when you get pissed off about it.

The station managers wife needs psychiatric care but can’t get it in the channel country. (Sorry Heidi, Sorry Jack).

Enough about Staybroke, they are finished now.

When you give the three snakes you killed on the way to the hanger to the local community as a gift, and the feral cat to the camp cook. (Fair dink)

Your passengers turn up and as you lead them to the plane bound for Boulia they ask, “When is the pilot going to be here?”

When you muster for 50 hours in 6 days and then you have to walk cattle. Mow lawns, weld gates, shoe horses, service road trains, fix leaky pipes, and avoid the pshchiatric station managers wife for the other 50 hours in your working week.

When you wire up your CSU to the side of the engine to maintain the desired setting.

When your boss tells you to pull your valves out and clean them in a dust storm because he is too tight to allow you to do the Lycoming 25hr oil change.

When your boss informs you that taking 15/20% off the MR time never hurt anyone but it really will help your own career.

Hey, I started this looking for a laugh, It appears that station life has made me bitter and twisted. Perhaps the station manager’s wife was originally a pilot that just stayed too long. I am out of here.

Last I heard Nick Murray was FO on a Dash 8 in PNG. Early this year.