Midnight, middle of summer and Jack's mood party is a raging success,

John and Sally came dressed in Green- Green for the jealousy they felt for Jack's great idea and kicking party.

Mark and Kate arrived dressed in Red - Red for the passion that they shared for wild parties (and each other!),

Anita arrives on her own dressed in Blue - Blue signifying her depression at not bringing a date to the party

there is a knock at the door, and when Jack opens it he is confronted by two Indian Gentlemen stood NAKED, one with a fruit jammed on the end of his dick and the other with his dick flopped into the bowl of yellow liquid he is holding.

"What the hell" exclaims Jack, taken aback, "This here is a mood party fella's I think you got the wrong idea"

(in an Indian accent/brogue) "Oh no sir, we are dressed in accordance with our moods, Rajiv here is f**king in dis pear and I am f**king dis custard!!!

SORRY (again) and yes I have been to similar parties!!

1-11 LOUD AND PROUD - (NAP?? What NAP?? only joking!)

A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in process. A sign read: "Don't Miss The Amazing Scotsman". The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman. Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out his huge member and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd.

Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw the faded sign for the same circus and the same sign "Don't Miss The Amazing Scotsman". He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly lifted his kilt and smashed the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member. The crowd went wild! Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show.

"You're incredible!" he told the Scotsman. "But I have to know something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?"

"Well," said the Scot, "Ma eyes are nae whit they used to be!!"


Sorry, I'll go now....