Hi all.

How do I prove that I am a woman, without using any picture or voice, whilst online (like in Chat)?

I thought about a few, like saying "I like chocolates and flowers", "I am incapable of keeping my mouth shut" etc...

Anyone else have any suggestion?

Birdy

Show some concern for the others.

Well Birdey since you did ask this question here in JB, heres my suggestion: Have cybersex in Chat with a known hetero male in there of your choice (might be an idea to go "Private" first!). From there I/we can determine wether your a real female or not! :)

Birdy,

Give the correct answer to the following question:

'Did you kiss an Air Traffic Controller today?'

Well, the only things I can think of are participating in observed, detailed discussions with other women about (a) the support and/or comfort characteristics of certain bras and/or (b) what the sign in the pharmacy (chemist's) aisle euphemistically calls "feminine hygiene".

Not exactly hot topics for chat, are they?

Well, probably hot enough for bra fetishists.

Are there any around?

Slash,

Trust you to say that! But who should I choose then? And who's to say that he would accept the invitation!? :)

Proceed as Cleared,

Negative to that one. I did kiss a pilot though.

Pax Domina,

OK, see you in Chat. We can discuss the merits and demerits of wired bras. Some men there seem to like listening to discussions about bras for some reason, though.

To the ladies/ladettes in Aus - does knowing what Ponstan is qualify as a proof?

How about having attended a convent school?


Edited for my usual typos


[This message has been edited by Bird Strike (edited 13 November 2000).]

I don't have an attitude problem,you have a perception problem.

------------------
"I don't suffer from stress.I'm a carrier".

Bird Strike - it's simple:

Describe one or more of the following, taking not more than an hour or ten sheets of paper:

a. any 'time of the month'
b. your last shopping trip
c. your hairdresser.

(a) and (b) don't apply to men, and men can answer (c) in only one or two words!

Now that's proof of a woman.

:) :) :)

------------------
Me, sweat? I'm that cool, it's condensation.

SLASHERS DIGITAL GENDER SIGNATURES LTD
---------------------------------------

Anouncement:

The following PPRuNe members have been verified, officialy certified, and designated catagory FEMALE by me (er...through either cybersex, or Ive seen there picture, or Ive seen there boobs, or the way they talk in Chat):

[updated 17/11/2000 to include Bird Strike]

Pilotspal

Flaps Forty

GoGirl

Redsnail

Velvet

Jazzi

Dingducky

Bird Strike

Pax Domina (pending further proof)

-------------------------------------------
Slasher. The name you can trust if the genders a must!

[This message has been edited by Slasher (edited 17 November 2000).]

Gee, thanx Slash :)

Birdy...I hear ya on the Ponstan thing :rolleyes:

GG :)

Birdy,

As a guy am I not supposed to know that Ponstan is composed of 250mg mefenamic acid per capsule, classified in Pharmacological terms as an A: 2.7 Anti-pyretic or anti-pyretic and anti-inflammatory analgesics type drug ?

Or that it has analgesic, anti-inflammatory and antipyretic properties, which may be due in part to its ability to inhibit the synthesis of prostaglandins. Ponstan also inhibits the action of exogenous prostaglandins on uterine muscle, uterine tube contraction and ovarian cyclic AMP and progesterone formation in animal models ?

Trust me, I'm a doctor !!

:)

------------------
10 West
UK ATC'er
10W@<hidden>

As far as I remember, it used to be mandatory to show Slasher your boobs!!! :)

I see 10W has been let out of the secure unit again.

I reckon Jazzi has to be a girl too. And Myria225 seems like a girl.
(I hope so anyway) :)

That reminds me.......
SLASHER....could you please send me back my boobs. I fear my social life is suffering without them, men are actually starting to talk to my face http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

Kind regards
GG :)

10W,

You've cheated haven't you!? That's not fair!
:)

Birdy

Matelot,

a) "Time of the month" = HATED time of the month. It is also disliked by my fiance.

b) "The shopping trip" - Oh where shall I start!? I can tell you that last time I went out on a shopping trip, I spent about 5 hours walking around the shops, couldn't find any clothes (or undergarments) that I liked, got pi**ed off and bought some chocolates and came home.

c) "Hairdresser" - It takes up something like two hours of my time all too often and I come home with stiff shoulders. And when my man doesn't even notice it - Grrrrrrrrrrr!

Birdy

Bird Strike -

You're definitely a gimmer (in the nicest possible way!)

:)

------------------
Me, sweat? I'm that cool, it's condensation.

BirdStrike,
If you own a pair of tweezers then you're definitely a girl.

Tricky Woo,

That's a point. I never overnight anywhere without my pair of tweezers.

Birdy

Matelot,

Gimmer:-

Yearling female sheep, two year old ewe, or old person.

Which one are you referring to then?
I'm not sure which I'd rather be either...

Birdy



[This message has been edited by Bird Strike (edited 13 November 2000).]

I own not one, but *two* pairs of super-effective "Uncle Bill's Sliver Gripper" tweezers, and am always carrying one around with me.

On the bra thing - I have found that Frederick's of Hollywood is very good for finding bras that can be worn unseen under a variety of clothing. However, despite hand washing and very good care of said items, the underwires pop out of them all too easily. And it's a pain trying to mend them yourself, and it never seems to work for very long.

Victoria's Secret bras? Own one of them, rarely worn. (Purchased to wear under one of those sheer shirts that were popular about ten years ago.) Too scratchy (lace in the wrong places) and it just doesn't fit well. I know some women swear by them, but although they have a ton of styles, none seem to work for me. Did just buy a very nice cocoa-colored body shaping type thing there, with a nice, if not very uplifting http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif underwire bra built in.

The best bras I've had are ones usually picked up unexpectedly when browsing through the lingerie section of a "better department store". Found a brilliant model in brown. Liked it so much, went back and bought the same style in cream. Now both are wearing out and I can't find anything even vaguely like them! From what I've heard, this seems to be a perennial problem - they always seem to stop making the bras that fit you best, so you can never find a new one when you need one. You have to spend ages trying to find a style that is at least as good as the last one you had.

I sometimes wear those paste on adhesive bra things!

Many times lately, I've just thrown on a sports bra - the Champion criss-cross back model being a particular favorite. Speedo also makes some nice sports bras - but for a true bra bonanza (including some everyday bras) with details women need and understand to select what's right for them, it's hard to beat the selection offered by Title Nine Sports.

That said, I have saved some spicy correspondence between me and a male friend. I'm sort of new to this game - should I send some of it to Slasher as at least partial proof of my womanhood? :) Or as a birthday present?

Ponstan? That must be a UK/Australian Midol. Myria225 can perhaps confirm this, in a show of North American female solidarity.

How do I know she is female? Look at the "Humble Beginnings" thread (really great read, BTW) over on Aircrew Notices (or is it Questions?). Look at all those hearts next to her postings! You wouldn't see a guy doing that . . .

[This message has been edited by pax domina (edited 13 November 2000).]

Far and away the best place for lingerie in London is Rigby & Peller (corsetieres to The Queen!). Absolutely gorgeous stuff, available off the peg and made to measure but sadly all at well-nigh unbelievable prices. But as a special treat, oh my...


(BFU - time we went shopping again!)

Pax,

Call me Slasher and go ahead!

------------------
I just wanted to tell you: We wish you good luck and we're all counting on you.

But how can I, um, *proceed*, if I don't know where to send them? :)

I will be visiting the Netherlands some time in 2001 (don't know if I'll get over the UK) - any tips on lingerie on that side of the channel?

PS - Best suspender belt (that's garter belt on the left side of the pond) was got at a branch of Lewis' (I think in Southampton, but it wasn't called Lewis'). Classic Victorian brothel wear style - fits well, very well made, and reasonably priced. (Yes, on that trip I did buy some knickers at M&S as well.)

I don't know what's more embarrassing - having been in a position that Slasher would know my gender - or that he now doesn't remember!
If I now submit him to silent treatment will that prove my femininity once and for all? :)

Pax D, didnt Klinger of the 4077th MASH say the same thing?

I urgentley recomend you send a pic of your boobs pronto! :)

What if the tweezers are on a leatherman? If that counts, I've been going in the wrong toilets for years!

Slasher - have just sent you collected correspondence via e-mail. Man in question claims that on several occasions it caused him to have to remove one or both hands from the keyboard. :)

I own neither scanner nor digital camera. The only option I can think of right now (others being 1,200 miles away) is a guy who works 250 miles from here who has a photo attachment for his Palm Pilot. Believe me, this is *not* an option. :)

No, I think we will have to make exceptions for Leatherman Tools and Swiss Army Knives (the tweezers on Swiss Army knives are useless anyway). A co-worker (definitely female, and str8) has a Leatherman Tool, and I always have my Swiss Army Knife - but camping and hiking are hobbies of mine. Also keep a needle-nose pliers in my briefcase. Very useful things to have - the modern woman's alternative to hairpins/hatpins?

[Edited to add comment about "included" tweezers and "proper" tweezers.]

[This message has been edited by pax domina (edited 14 November 2000).]

Gee, 10w...... I thought you are an ATCO not a druggie!

Yeah I am female, I got a red Ducati. mmmmmmmmm Junior :)

------------------
reddo...feral animal!

PP - I'll get the handwarmer out.... ;)

Pax Domina,

Yeah Ponstan is sort of similar to Midol in terms of its purpose, even though the ingredients are quite different.

PilotsPal,

Yes I second that about Rigby & Peller. Great store. Had a few things for special occaions from there, bought some presents for my mum from them too.

Re: Frederiks of Hollywood & Victoria's Secret:-

I find that I've got to try the bras on to make sure that they fit me well. Seen their products on the Net but never bought any because of it. They seem to have some nice looking stuff though.

Has any of the ladies ever found suspender belts that don't slip down? They all seem to do that somehow, even if they don't look like they have slippery straps http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

Reddo,

I thought females were supposed to paint their bike pink?
:) ;)

Birdy

Bird Strike

I looked at your profile and under interests it refers to 'sheep, sex and flying'. :)

So I felt my description apropro gimmer to be relevant (I reserve 'oud gimmer' for the same context as cow and mare) - but not in your case!

Treat gimmer as an endearment.

Be safe.

:) :) :)

------------------
Me, sweat? I'm that cool, it's condensation.

Matelot...dear me, I think you've spent too long exercising your wrist, damaging your eyesight. :) :) ;)

Birdy

Birdy

I know what you mean about the suspender belt slipping - that can be so uncomfortable. These days I prefer lace topped hold-ups then you don't get lumpy bits under tight frocks (VSL?)

Funny thing about underwires in bras - the cheap everyday bras that you sling in the washing machine regardless (yes, I know you shouldn't do it) always seem to last forever, whereas the good bras (and I'm talking £35+ here) always seem to come apart after only a few gentle hand washings. Really annoying...

BFU - just remember, a little less dribbling this time, if you please.

PilotsPal,

Unfortunately I'm mildly allergic to that latex (?) strap they put on the stay-ups, so I can't wear them for more than a few hours at a time. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif

Entirely agree with you about the bras! I toss my cheap everyday ones into washing machine. Sometimes I even accidentally tumble dry them but so far observed no ill effect. But expensive ones are sooo awkward to care for aren't they? Typically they're the ones that the ring catches the lace and get damaged, not the cheap ones, too...
Sod's law?

Birdy

P.S. Slasher and others, have I proven that I am a woman yet?

PP - I think you mean 'drooling'.... The other bit is out of my control http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

Birdy,

You're right about the eyes, it should have been sleep, sex and fryging...? :)

------------------
Me, sweat? I'm that cool, it's condensation.

Birdy,

Sorry, no prove without any picture (maybe wearing a latex strap?).
:)


------------------
I just wanted to tell you: We wish you good luck and we're all counting on you.

So, I was right about the tweezers...

Be honest, Girls, how many different brands of shampoos and conditioners are currently cluttering up your bathroom? How long have they been there?

If you say one of each, then you're probably a bloke. If you say only one bottle of shampoo, then you're definitely a bloke. If you say none, then you're an orangutang. Or bald.

Ah, The Scent of a Woman! If we could only sample your pheromones.

Tricky Woo

I just did a quick count and it seems I have 6 different types of shampoo, 4 of conditioner, 2 of special treatments, 1 hairspray, 1 blow dry spray and 1 mousse.

I also did a quick count of the perfume and fragrance collection but am too embarrased to say how many.

Lets see if this works:

hi i'm a girl Yes U R!
HI I'M A GIRL R U sure? Go see a doctor please!

If you want to be sure if the girl is a girl try to go for an appointment, but don't forget to ask how long it usually takes to do all the shampooing (PP that's shocking) drying and putting on the finishing touch! If it's less than 1 hour cancel the date.

Hi Bird Strike,
It looks like your captain doesn't sail the Red Sea. I know a lot of women who liked it due to easing the sore a bit. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/cool.gif

When you go to the hairdresser use his creditcard :)



[This message has been edited by golden_hands (edited 15 November 2000).]

From a recent film...
Neve Campbell says...

"Push-up bras, garter belts, high heels..."
"But this must be boring for you?"

"Uhh, no,not really"

GoGirl yes you boobs are being sent back to you. In order for my Digital company to cut shipping costs, Ive had to put them on the next Vietnamese refugee boat to Oz. Rest assured Ive bundled them in strong packing so the seagulls cant pick at them too much! :)

Birdey/Pax D/Jatz with no photo of your naked breasts to go on it makes your cases a little dificult to resolve. Unfortunateley what youve posted here so far (and Pax Ds email) is not posiluteley absotiveley conclusive. But I spoke to the rest of the office staff and we all agree that we will accept a Statutery Declaration from anyone who has actualy "cybered" you in Chat as proof of your gender. A transcript of the cyber-bonk too with the SD will also help speed up the office processing.

It bears repeating a naked photo of your tits will gain you instant certification! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

Slasher
CEO SDGS Ltd

golden_hands,

I am the captain and my beloved is the FO in our household! :)

Birdy

hey slash
i am insulted that i did not see myself on your list!!! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif
and you have seen my pic!!!! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/redface.gif
i hate to think what you do with it!!!!! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif


------------------
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Oh my God Im so very sorry for leaving you out Dingducks! There is no excuse. But if you check the prev page youll find youve now been included in the List.

So Ive restored the harmonious balance of the existential Universe and your restless soul (and boobs) can now find peace amongst the Cosmos. :)

Possibly (?) good news - a co-worker has a scanner at home! (No, I am not going to ask to use the one at the office!) Now I just need to find someone with a Polaroid camera. :)

The thing is, her answer was, "Yes I have a scanner, why?" and the only answer I could think of is "I'll tell you later!"

Would an actual telephone conversation with a male PPRuNer help my case?

The non-committal comment about *that* e-mail, which after all was partially intended as an *extremely* useful and very thoughtful birthday present . . . http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif Would any man be thoughtful enough to bestow such a present? ;)

And not a word of thanks from you! Well, that's proof that *you* are a man. :) :) :)

Hair care - very partial to Aveda products at the moment. Clove Shampoo (for brown & honey tones) - in the process of using up, the fabulous Sap Moss shampoo (*highly* recommended), a Personal Blend shampoo (color basic red), a little bit of Madder Rose conditioner left, and Personal Blends conditioner (also basic red).

Damp hair is first given a few squirts of Styling Curessence, followed by a bit of the Brilliant Forming Gel, then a bit of scrunching with some Phomoliient, topped off with some Brilliant Anti-Humectant Pomade. Still ends up looking like a curly brown mop, but a nice curly brown mop.

[This message has been edited by pax domina (edited 15 November 2000).]

Dear Slasher, thank you for your kind offer.
I really believe that as evidence of my female form, my legs would arouse more interest...however given the well documented drought in SE Asia of late, I think it would constitute cruel and unusual punishment to force you to subject yourself to such a sight. Particularly as it would only be to serve my own selfish desire to be recognised as all woman.
Accordingly, I reject your kind offer with thanks and hope that a benevolent PPRuNer will choose to champion my cause.
Yours faithfully, Jatz xxx

Three of my products are Aveda - which reminds me. Any kind PPRuNer coming over from the States to the GatBash? As with so much in life, Aveda products are cheaper in the US and I'm getting a bit low on one or two items.

Found in the bathroom:-

Amongst an embarrassing amount of make-up stuff, I found shampoo x 3, conditioner x 5 (1 normal, 1 deep treatment, 1 for split ends, 2 leave-in). Also about 5 tweezers that I decided I didn't like, as well as my favourite. An ornamental glass bowl containing my favourite pieces of make-up. A few aromatherapy candles by the bath, plus an ornament. A few different types of face washes. A hair dryer and a curling tongue, plus a steam thing for hair. The waxing kit. An epilator (sp?). Two different types of cotton buds. 1 Hair brush (the only hair brush I ever want to use in the world!). 5 shower caps for some reason - I don't even use them often. Cotton discs. Soaps. Nail varnish remover. 4 towels of various sizes. 3 toothbrushes, waxed dental floss, interdental cleaning tool, whitening toothpaste, toothbrush stand. Mineral deodorant. Various perfumes. About 15 different moisturisers, some for the face and some for the body. Various first aid items like antiseptic cream and plasters. About 20 different hair clips. Certain items only required for females. Boxes of tissues, including one for make-up. Three bottles of essential oil. Rubbish bin. Some other various items that I can no longer remember.

Birdy

Forgot to add - the volume of my stuff meant that there was little room left for my beloved. So he's got his own bathroom.

[This message has been edited by Bird Strike (edited 15 November 2000).]

Wow, and ? Does it work ? Does it make you look good ?

Birdy - "a curling tongue".......

Hmmmm...... I knew there was a reason I liked you so much! :)

PilotsPal and BFU the largest selection of Rigby and Pellar is in Selfridges; and also La Perla's shop in Brook Street is highly reccomended. Currently in Barcelona and have seen the invisable shoulder strap bra - very nice - haven't seen them at home yet. Anyone wanting one should e-mail me your measurements and colour requirement and I will supply via post on Monday. Price is 5,500 PTAS.

To clarify size please include photo! :)

LOL @<hidden> BFU and WDTBD...
WDTBD, BTW can you ship to Australia? :)

Birdy, for you, anything....I remember your size too! :)

I´ve just seen what time this thread started!, within 5 hours it´s 3 pages long http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

Hey WDTBD,

Now that you say you remember my size, can you please testify that I am female? :)

And BTW what were they? :) http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

I, Buttons, of Hampshire do swear Birdy is in fact a first class bird.

Would still like to see the picture though! Size e-mailed to you Birdy - don't want the whole world to know!

Buttons

Thank you for that, Buttons!

Now can I be certified as female, Slasher, or do I have to do more?

A pink Ducati......Fer fark's sake http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

I guess I am a tad more economical with stuff. Shampoo and conditioner. Nothing too flash or expensive. Razor blades, wax, tweezers. "feminine hygiene products". Some condoms, (wishful thinking!!), moisturiser ie the old sorbolene and glyserine variety, blockout, deodorant, tooth brush, toothpaste, Calvin Clein Obsession........
Spend all my money on toys.....like Ducati's, minidiscs, computers, air fares to teh UK..... :)

------------------
reddo...feral animal!

I think DreamCatcher also thinks I'm a woman now... Thank you DreamCatcher

Link to the offending thread http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/Forum4/HTML/003043.html

Birdy

Why men are proud of themselves

1. We know stuff about tanks.
2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase.
3. We can open all our own jars.
4. We can make decisions without a support group.
5. We can leave a motel bed unmade.
6. We can kill our own food.
7. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
8. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
9. If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our
friend.
10. Underwear is $10 a three-pack.
11. Three pairs of shoes is more than adequate.
12. We don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming.
13. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
14. We can sit quietly and watch TV with a friend for hours without
thinking "He must be mad at me."
15. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
16. We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little
gift.
17. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just
might
become lifelong friends.
18. Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything
different?"
19. We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors.
20. We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
21. The same hairstyle lasts for years-maybe decades.
22. We don't have to shave below the neck.
23. A few belches are expected and tolerated.
24. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
25. We can do our nails with a pocketknife.
26. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the day
before Christmas and be done in 45 minutes.

Judging from page 1,I think PAX DOM... is a cross dresser with all his exciting detail that just bubbles forth as he's found an outlet for his desire, and I think Tricky Woo is a 'small' boy, hence the tweesers.....HEH, HEH, HEH...

And is it obvious that the appropriately named birdbrain is a male! Surely small of, erm, stature, himself. Pity, because without that *little* appendage of yours, you (men, collectively) would be literally (all of you) and figuratively (most of you) *effing useless*. :)

Let's see, I paged a male PPRuNer (who shall remain anonymous) this morning and had a nice conversation with him. May be forced in to spending a few dollars to chat to another male PPRuNer who can provide verification.

Loving detail? Well, I work in a henhouse of an office, with only a couple of roosters around to annoy us (and the head rooster is off golfing today). We gab about all this stuff regularly because we just *don't care* what the guys think!

Has anyone noticed that female PPRuNers tend to completely fill out their profiles, while males often leave theirs completely blank? And that when men list hobbies, 99% of them list women and/or something drinking related?

[This message has been edited by pax domina (edited 17 November 2000).]

Pax Domina,
Whats a CPA/CPO?

I'll tell you how to tell if you're a woman:

1.Kneel on the floor
2.Put your hands together as if praying and hold a matchbox (small) between your fingertips by the match striking surfaces
3.with your elbows firmly in contact with your knees push the matchbox just out of reach, taking care not to knock it over.
4.Put your hands behind your back lean forward and pick the matchbox up with your mouth .
5.Post here if you managed it or not and I'll tell you if you're a woman.
6. Answer in a few days.

Happy gobbling

Cusco

mach -

CPA = Certified Public Accountant (roughly equivalent to a Chartered Accountant), and I did spend some time (too long) working in Public Accounting (accountancy firms) but am now happily the

CFO = Chief Financial Officer (Vice President of Finance & Administration to be precise - you *do not* want to know what the "& Administration" sometimes entails :) )

of a charity. The Head Rooster (aka the Big Kahuna) is wont to refer to accounting as "voodoo", therefore am lobbying for title change to "Voodoo Goddess", with my wonderful assistant as "Voodoo Princess & la Reina de la Oficina".

pax d (tongue ever so slightly in cheek)
:) :) :)

[This message has been edited by pax domina (edited 17 November 2000).]

Pax Domina....

In awe....

Tongue very much on chest

http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

I have now been certified by Slash as female, without using my picture (but used HIS!!) or voice! Hooray!

The link to the offending thread: http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/Forum4/HTML/003066.html

Slasher says
Uh-oh youve done it now Birdy!
Just like a true woman you had to go and open the can didnt you? Now theres worms all over the place!

PS: As of right now youve been certified FEMALE.


RD, how's that!?

I, Buttons of Hampshire, do swear that infact pax domina is indeed a woman. A VERY fine woman.

:)

I, Domina of Florida (a bit http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/redface.gif about the Florida thing at the mo'), do infact swear that Buttons of Hampshire is a *top bloke*, who's kindness is very much appreciated! :) :) :)

[This message has been edited by pax domina (edited 19 November 2000).]

Hey, Slasher, you forgot me http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif

------------------
To fly is human, to hover, divine.

Birdy:

You honestly expect me to believe that somebody who looks like that in a dress would know a man from a woman?

Sorry, not even close. :)

RD

Rader Dep,

Hey how about Buttons' comments then!?

Birdy

Ah -Queen of the Office-thanks Pax Domina-you are self evidently First Peacemaker?

[This message has been edited by mach78 (edited 18 November 2000).]

No mach, my assistant is "La Reina de la Officina"! :) It means that she handles all the fax, copier, postage and shipping and telephone problems, pest control, office cleaning and office supply orders. And the coffee. This as well as her full Voodoo Princess duties, although sometimes I am forced to loan her out the the Department that Does the Stuff We Were Founded To Do. Oh, and finding us computer support, which we often need do to some less than good purchasing decisions on the part of the Big Kahuna.

And Administration? Started thinking about the full litany of horrors and began to get a bit depressed. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif So I'll just mention that they include making sure bog roll supplies are sufficient, training others on how to break the fiddly bit off the copier toner cartridge (as shown to us by the Xerox tech) so that we are less likely to have paper jams, making signs for the office ("Three hole punched paper is on the bottom shelf" "Please rinse out items and remove caps before placing in recycling bin"), and all the crappy "human resources" stuff, including the piles of forms related to employee benefits (when everything is going all right, your never hear anything, when someone doesn't like something - I get to hear *all* of the bitching! So I tell 'em to go complain to the Big Kahuna, since he never listens to my suggestions anyway).

This has all become a bit more interesting, since our landlord was "abolished" last year, and our current landlord (the building's owner) is currently providing only the most basic of building maintenance. Within the year we will move to our own glorious new building, but until then we must deal with storeroom flooding, roof leaks, periodic cockroach and ant invasions (as in walk in to the office in the morning to find portions of desk covered with ants), and taps that either won't shut off, or refuse to turn on. We're often amazed that the place hasn't come crashing down around our ears!

Ohh, Birdy!!! Let me respond :)

A) Buttons: Selective quote No. 1

“PilotsPal and BFU the largest selection of Rigby and Pellar is in Selfridges; and also La Perla's shop in Brook Street is highly reccomended. Currently in Barcelona and have seen the invisable shoulder strap bra - very nice - haven't seen them at home yet. Anyone wanting one should e-mail me your measurements”


B) Buttons: Selective quote No. 2:

I, Buttons, of Hampshire do swear Birdy is in fact a first class bird.


C) Buttons: Selective quote No. 3:

I, Buttons of Hampshire, do swear that infact pax domina is indeed a woman. A VERY fine woman.


D) Pax Domina: Selective quote No. 4:

I, Domina of Florida ……… do hearby (sic) swear that Buttons of Hampshire is a *top bloke*.


So, let’s see now, if this were a logic quiz, PD (is that Boss Passenger, or Peace Lord?) would be found to be unquestionably female because of her overwrought reaction to Birdbrain’s supposedly humorous post.

Therefore, (D) Buttons is male (reinforced by C).
Therefore (A).. Buttons is a transvestite.
Ergo…. (B) Buttons’ assertion re birdy’s gender is legally suspect.

Am I missing something in this increasingly squalid expose of transgender peccadilloes?

The plot thickens.

RD

LOL @<hidden> RD...!

Judging from the fact that you suspect A) = transvestite, you obviously don't go lingerie shopping for your girlfriend/wife do you (BTW for the infomation for men, please note that women don't always want RED underwear!)!? You've never got dragged into going shopping at lingerie stores?? Are you the type who find it embarrassing and hide in the men's section? :)

Hey Buttons,

Do you want to post a pic of your baby by the way??

Edited due to unintelligible content



[This message has been edited by Bird Strike (edited 19 November 2000).]

RD - hearby is now infact, infact. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

Damn sarcastic user of [sic]! :)

Errrm. Hard as it may seem I am in fact 100% bloke. In fact pictures of me taken at a bash can be found in this site (somewhere) although I don't have time to find it but I know 10W can post the link again!

I Velvet do attest and swear that Radar Departure is a top guy

I also attest to Buttons male status

As are: Slasher and Kaptin M and Biggles Flies Undone (table clearing at no extra charge) and Hamrah (loves having his kitchen cleaned by a woman) and 10W and PPT and WWW (cartwheels a speciality); Infin and Flypuppy, Snigs (rescues maidens in distress), Stan Sted, Wholigan, Horatio, Mooney, pjdj, Tinstaafl




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The first myth of management is that it exists

I'm a bloke, but sensitive enough to look after all my wife's needs.

I remember once going shopping with my other half's best friend, she was buying some lingerie for my wife. In the middle of Selfridges' ladies wear, she turned to me and asked "What size is Trish ?"

Of course the only thing I could do was put both hands in front of me, palms out, fingers pointing up and slightly curled. Took Debbie ages to stop laughing.

See, I *CAN* be sensitive . . .

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I got bored with "WhoNeedsRunways"

"What would have happened if it had been Three Wise Women instead of Three Wise Men?" Apparently, they would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole, and brought practical gifts.

But, then again, when they left, they would probably say:
"Did you see the sandals Mary was wearing with that gown?";
"That baby doesn't look anything like Joseph";
"Virgin? I knew her at school";
"I heard that Joseph isn't even working right now"; and "Want to bet on how long until you get your casserole dish back?".

Radar Departure, dear - overwrought? Overwrought? OVERWROUGHT?!!!! I'll show you OVERWROUGHT!!!! That was *mild* compared to what I'm like when I'm *really* annoyed!
:) :) :)

Pax (both singular and plural, like sheep - must credit Self Loading Freight for that line) - saves people having to look at the occupation in my profile. Domina - I am a big fan of Dorothy L. Sayers' Lord Peter Wimsey novels, several of which were used to occupy my mind at the height of my fear of flying (no Erica Jong jokes, please!) about ten years ago. I wish to clarify this, since it has been brought to my attention that perhaps a few PPRuNers out there may think I am seeking "submissives". http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

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I, Domina of Florida, do hereby swear that I do, in fact, know how to spell "hereby".

[This message has been edited by pax domina (edited 21 November 2000).]

(SHHhhhhh PD is directly above...)
RD...supposedly..HUH! I thought it was quite good, firstly PD correctly identified my gender(and probably theirs...read on). Second, I got the desired response, which only eminates from one side of the fence, and lastly, I'm sure was not the only one to crack a smile..

It may have taken me six and a half months or so from the time this thread was active to get myself to a Bash but, as a result, may I now, please, be considered a woman? :D

(Just had to bring this to the top again. :p )

Pax_Darling, I got a close enough look to confirm that you are, indeed, a woman :D

Ok, but I prefer proof. :D ;)

Pax, thru ample evidence from the other realm I KNOW your a woman.

ALL Woman.

As always Pax hon the final test is in showing us your tits. :D

I'm sorry

I've an admission to make. I'm really a man!
I didn't mean to deceive you lot for so long it's just that I got in so deep with my deceptions I didn't know how to backtrack.

Worse I actually was a woman once but I decided to have a sex change a transexual I think is what you call me :p

I'm so sorry for living a lie on PPRuNe for so long. Will you'se ever bring yourselves to forgive me sob sob :(

Oh and if there are eligible drop dead gorgeous women out there reading this I'll like to make it known that I'm eh young, single AND available :D

Thank You

Emerald (you may call me Emir) xxx

[ 15 July 2001: Message edited by: Celtic Emerald ]

Good grief, who brought this back from the dead? I've been officially and forcibly renumbered since then, like a Hollywood sequel (a small tear coursed down my cheek at the good old days and the number of posts lost).

I am amazed that Slasher, despite his place of residence, is apparently still convinced that a photo of a person with naked breasts is proof of her gender. Or is it just a ruse to see photos of tits, Slash?

Despite receiving a piece of evidence which shook my certainty a little, I remain determined that proof must be displayed in person, and I have challenged Birdy to exhibit said proof at the Ozbash next year, a condition he/she has conditionally agreed to.

Until then, I shall remain a humble skeptic.

RD