You Know You Are In Africa When.....
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Kinshasa DRC
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You know your in Kinshasa when.....
...you see KQ execute a 45 deg bank turn at 200ft after take-off from Rwy 06 and one minute later see SA on short final for Rwy 24.....Not sure if any collision warnings showed up on Brazza's radar???
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I have just spent the past several days reading every comment in this thread. I had to walk way at times because my face and stomach muscles were sore from laughing.
My friend and I were passengers travelling from Victoria Falls to Makololo Plains, Zimbabwe. We knew we were definitely in Africa when we looked out the window on landing to find that there was a giraffe racing us down the dirt path which doubled as a landing strip. Our pilot must have been a little competitive because he didn't seem to be so much as braking but trying to outrace the giraffe!
On our return to Zambia, the same pilot took us on a couple of loops over Victoria Falls, not for our benefit, but so that he could take extra photos.
I can't wait to go back.
My friend and I were passengers travelling from Victoria Falls to Makololo Plains, Zimbabwe. We knew we were definitely in Africa when we looked out the window on landing to find that there was a giraffe racing us down the dirt path which doubled as a landing strip. Our pilot must have been a little competitive because he didn't seem to be so much as braking but trying to outrace the giraffe!
On our return to Zambia, the same pilot took us on a couple of loops over Victoria Falls, not for our benefit, but so that he could take extra photos.
I can't wait to go back.
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Your Ebola form is rejected by the "Doctor" because you don't Have a seat number. Mind you that you're the Captain, for the national airline and at your home base. Ebola is a huge concern but you are increasing frequencies to west Africa. No minister or official is anywhere to be seen since the outbreak. 3 aircraft are holding for a departure because, "he said he ready before you try to land". Airport security dismantled your Cross pen for "security". You get caught smoking and the police take a cigarette from you AND your wings as a souvenir. The president has a 777 but the VOR and ILS don't work. There have been 2 collisions in a week between ground vehicles but the big problem is your lack of reflector vests. Ramp agents then direct pax on front of taxiing aircraft across the ramp. Pax don't have reflector vests....
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....... a rapist, a thief, a bigamist, a fraudster, a racist, a man who thinks that showering after raping an HIV positive woman, and a village idiot walk into a bar and the barman says :
"What can I get you tonight Mr President?"
"What can I get you tonight Mr President?"
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Here and there...
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ExAMM757Captain,
There was a spat a while back between South Africa and Nigeria when the SA authorities refused a bunch of people entry to Johannesburg International for not having the Yellow Fever cards.
The upshot of it is that there are recommended places in Lagos where they sell the cards. Obviously, the acceptable cards will be from the places where the guy checking them has an interest....
There was a spat a while back between South Africa and Nigeria when the SA authorities refused a bunch of people entry to Johannesburg International for not having the Yellow Fever cards.
The upshot of it is that there are recommended places in Lagos where they sell the cards. Obviously, the acceptable cards will be from the places where the guy checking them has an interest....
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In Nigeria they are currently doing the 'Yellow Fever' trick just now.
The 'Port Health' inspectors in lab coats ask you for your 'yellow fever' medical certificate even if you have come from somewhere that has never had Yellow Fever.
Funny that they only ask certain groups of persons? If you don't have the certificate then it's $50 for the piece of paper (no inoculation), although you can get it down to $20 with a good ol' debate.
I even had copies of WHO advice, Nigerian Government & British Government advice saying that I don't need Yellow Fever as my country isn't affected, etc. The "Inspectors/Dr's" aren't interested.
I was recently asked on the way OUT of Nigeria for my yellow fever certificate.
Welcome to Nigeria.
The 'Port Health' inspectors in lab coats ask you for your 'yellow fever' medical certificate even if you have come from somewhere that has never had Yellow Fever.
Funny that they only ask certain groups of persons? If you don't have the certificate then it's $50 for the piece of paper (no inoculation), although you can get it down to $20 with a good ol' debate.
I even had copies of WHO advice, Nigerian Government & British Government advice saying that I don't need Yellow Fever as my country isn't affected, etc. The "Inspectors/Dr's" aren't interested.
I was recently asked on the way OUT of Nigeria for my yellow fever certificate.
Welcome to Nigeria.
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Ethiopian
Serious question guys. Have been invited to interview for a 787 command out of Addis for Ethiopian Airways. Any thoughts or recent experience about the airline? What's the salary potential? Living conditions? Working conditions? Security? I'd go alone and leave the family back home in Europe.
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Once in a BCAL DC10, We were cleared to land at KANO by the approach controller. When on the runway we were instructed to contact the tower for taxi instructions. When we called the tower and requested taxi instructions he refused to give them as we hadn't cleared to land by the tower. We pointed out that we had landed but he insisted we ask him for landing clearance before he would allow us to taxi to the gate!! Oh well, it was Africa.
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20 On/10 Off, ticket to home business class. ADD is more or less safe but too many beggar. Pay is lower than in the middle east but the cost of living is very very low...and beautifull girls everywhere. Ethiopian Airlines not airways. ;-)
Join Date: Feb 2008
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... you get a real kick out of interagency bureaucracy:
Aviation Authority: "We can't issue a C of A without a Radio Station License!"
Radio Authority: "We can't issue a Radio Station License without a C of A!"
Radio Authority: "We don't need that Radio Station Survey form. Give it to the Aviation Authority, it's theirs."
Aviation Authority: "Why do you still have all three copies of your radio station survey forms? You are supposed to give one to the Radio Authority!"
Police: "We can't provide security at the landing site until the Aviation Authority gives us in writing that they are okay with you landing there."
Aviation Authority: "We are very much okay with you landing there, but we can't write that to you until we get a written statement from the police that they can secure the landing site."
Aviation Authority: "We can't issue a C of A without a Radio Station License!"
Radio Authority: "We can't issue a Radio Station License without a C of A!"
Radio Authority: "We don't need that Radio Station Survey form. Give it to the Aviation Authority, it's theirs."
Aviation Authority: "Why do you still have all three copies of your radio station survey forms? You are supposed to give one to the Radio Authority!"
Police: "We can't provide security at the landing site until the Aviation Authority gives us in writing that they are okay with you landing there."
Aviation Authority: "We are very much okay with you landing there, but we can't write that to you until we get a written statement from the police that they can secure the landing site."
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People, please stop posting on this thread, In fact if the moderators could delete this thread I would be most grateful. The reason for this is because it poses a huge risk to my health. I think that at least a dozen times I have almost burst my guts laughing.
At Takoradi Airport, Ghana there is a main road crossing the runway between the town and the local residentual area. Anything and everything crosses the runway there. People, cars, trucks you name it un checked by any form of security. However to their credit, they have a siren and booms to stop people and traffic when an plane is about to land. This is also their local airfarce (spelling intended) base.
The funny part is, on the roads entering and exiting the airport landside, they have armed guards with FN assult rifles searching cars and checking passports.
Please ignore the first paragraph of this post. I don't mind bursting my guts and laughing myself to death. It's all so true. You just have to love Africa
At Takoradi Airport, Ghana there is a main road crossing the runway between the town and the local residentual area. Anything and everything crosses the runway there. People, cars, trucks you name it un checked by any form of security. However to their credit, they have a siren and booms to stop people and traffic when an plane is about to land. This is also their local airfarce (spelling intended) base.
The funny part is, on the roads entering and exiting the airport landside, they have armed guards with FN assult rifles searching cars and checking passports.
Please ignore the first paragraph of this post. I don't mind bursting my guts and laughing myself to death. It's all so true. You just have to love Africa
Join Date: Aug 2009
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You know you are in Africa when:
This one from a Freightdog today:
Colleague in LOS today reports from the cargo ramp new paint job on the yellow taxiway markings, including aircraft type stop point markings, B-707 / DC-8-55 / DC-8-63. When the paint man was questioned why no 747 / 767 / 777 he was told that the FAAN manual only had 707's and DC-8's. A real man's airport!
Colleague in LOS today reports from the cargo ramp new paint job on the yellow taxiway markings, including aircraft type stop point markings, B-707 / DC-8-55 / DC-8-63. When the paint man was questioned why no 747 / 767 / 777 he was told that the FAAN manual only had 707's and DC-8's. A real man's airport!
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A form is now handed out on inbound flights to ZA.
Questions :
Name, origin, passport number, nationality, contact phone/address in ZA, flight number, seat number, what countries have you visited in the last ten days, do you have any of the following symptoms?
On arrival, a bored official is taking forms randomly from some passengers, and putting them into a box without even glancing at them. I happened to see what the man sitting next to me on the flight wrote on his : "We've come from America and we don't have these diseases so have nothing to answer."
What a farcical and tragic waste of time and resources, leading people to believe that an effort is being made.
Questions :
Name, origin, passport number, nationality, contact phone/address in ZA, flight number, seat number, what countries have you visited in the last ten days, do you have any of the following symptoms?
On arrival, a bored official is taking forms randomly from some passengers, and putting them into a box without even glancing at them. I happened to see what the man sitting next to me on the flight wrote on his : "We've come from America and we don't have these diseases so have nothing to answer."
What a farcical and tragic waste of time and resources, leading people to believe that an effort is being made.
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Job creation, Mr CT. You don't actually have to achieve anything, you just need to give the appearance of doing so. Pretty much every govt department in SA operates on that principle, the SAPS more than most. Of course all this needs to be funded by someone...
No doubt the forms end up as firelighters sooner rather than later.
No doubt the forms end up as firelighters sooner rather than later.
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What a farcical and tragic waste of time and resources, leading people to believe that an effort is being made
Africa doesn't have a monopoly on daft bureaucracy, does it?
Join Date: Feb 2001
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...... stuff like this happens :
Swaziland's new international airport is part of King Mswati III's $1bn millennium project investment initiative to enhance Swaziland's position as a tourist destination, serving as a tourism gateway to Swaziland's game parks,...........However, it has been on the drawing board since 1980..........Sikhupe is near Hlane game park, and may put rare species of eagles and vultures at risk.[9]
King Mswati-III International Airport was planned to replace Matsapha airport by 2010, with the latter being taken over by the army.[5][10]
King Mswati-III International Airport was inaugurated on the 7th March 2014, despite the fact that it did not yet have a license to operate from the International Air Transport Association.[4] As of July 2014, no airline has used the airport,[11] and King Mswati III himself has even avoided it in favor of the existing Matsapha Airport.[12] There have been reports that the new airport does not yet have hangars or enough office space to accommodate any airline operators.[13]
Facilities
Plans include a 3,600m CAT 1 runway, and capacity for 300,000 passengers per year. It would be able to handle Boeing 747 aircraft, and service flights to any destination in the world.[6]
Swaziland's new international airport is part of King Mswati III's $1bn millennium project investment initiative to enhance Swaziland's position as a tourist destination, serving as a tourism gateway to Swaziland's game parks,...........However, it has been on the drawing board since 1980..........Sikhupe is near Hlane game park, and may put rare species of eagles and vultures at risk.[9]
King Mswati-III International Airport was planned to replace Matsapha airport by 2010, with the latter being taken over by the army.[5][10]
King Mswati-III International Airport was inaugurated on the 7th March 2014, despite the fact that it did not yet have a license to operate from the International Air Transport Association.[4] As of July 2014, no airline has used the airport,[11] and King Mswati III himself has even avoided it in favor of the existing Matsapha Airport.[12] There have been reports that the new airport does not yet have hangars or enough office space to accommodate any airline operators.[13]
Facilities
Plans include a 3,600m CAT 1 runway, and capacity for 300,000 passengers per year. It would be able to handle Boeing 747 aircraft, and service flights to any destination in the world.[6]