Rhodes, you sound like some shell shocked soldier with post traumatic stress disorder. Have you been in battle overseas too long n wish to return to the busom of your mother land? As if they really want you back , thats what happens to soldiers of fortune.
Lets be positive now, at least you can buy a detatched 4 bed residence, perhaps send the kids to grammar school n buy the missus a new mini. If you stayed at J2 god help you with any dreams of private school or a flash gaff.
NLH is a bind for most there. But they dont fight it.