Sorry mcdhu, been away from the laptop for a few weeks and missed your question! I only have a Macbook so not sure of the syncings of iCal, but from what I understand, it should all sync together if your settings are set to sync everything. Being an Android mobile user I have a Google account that syncs my calendars, I also get the good lady's calendar synced to it. What I found with that was we both had to save our dates in Cal under our Google account (as opposed to the "my phone" default) so then Google updates and in turn updates the other devices. For events I enter that she doesn't need to see I just save them to "my phone" rather than under my Google account setting (I get the option). If you try making a new entry onto your iCal, does it give you the option to either save it as "this iPad only" or "visible to all users"? Could be worth a check.