Carol, I am very sorry to hear of your sad loss. Your story is very pertinent to this thread, for it reminds us all of the real cost of fatal aircraft accidents, which is to the loved ones left behind to grieve for what amounts to a life sentence.
If it is of any consolation at all, you should know that there are many here who firmly want to see UK Military Airworthiness and Air Accident Investigation reformed, so that avoidable aircraft accidents are properly investigated to ensure that they are then avoided thereafter. While the MAA and the MAAIB are neither independent of the MOD nor of each other that cannot be relied upon.
It has only been with the help and support of devastated families that we have been encouraged to keep persevering. Our creed is simple and self explanatory:-
Self Regulation Doesn't Work and in Aviation it Kills.