John, that story is priceless!
Once I returned from a mission in RVN at sunrise, having been scrambled from a sound sleep about midnight and launched into the blackness to fight the godless commies.
Up all night, expended ammo three times, re-armed and refueled hot, a few small holes in the tail to prove that the other side also used some ammo. It was a two-way rifle range, after all.
Mission over, I handed my helmet to the crewchief and stepped out of the Cobra, negotiating the small outside steps, failing to realize that my boots were still untied (scramble start, remember?). Stepped on the lace of one boot with the other foot while four feet above the ground on the three inch little step.
As the whole flightline watched, I windmilled my arms like the Third Stooge, struggled for a second, then fell whole body backwards onto the ramp, out cold.
No matter how I argued about combat wounds, the CO insisted that no Purple Heart was due! However, the French judge gave me a 9.0 because there was so little splash.