The truth is, that in many of these difficult situations everybody does their utmost to achieve the best possible outcome. Nobody would willfully seek to place the aircraft or anybody aboard in undue or unnecessary jeopardy. However the perception of what somebody else should be doing is often different from the reality. This is where effective communication plays a major part. For some of the reasons already discussed (and presumably the basis of your initial question,) the reaction you either wanted or expected differed from the actual response for maybe some of these or any other reasons.
I think you are perfectly entitled to contact the relevant person or department within your company to say that you are still uncomfortable with this situation, and would like to discuss it further. It may be the safety department or the CRM team, or your line manager, who can assist in this regard. Not that I am suggesting you are, but do not be confrontational, go in with an open mind, put your points across and listen to what is offered in response. You could of course ask the Captain to contact you when he has a 30 minutes to spare so that you can discuss it further, but I would still suggest using a mediator from the appropriate department to assist in this regard.
I can tell you that as a Captain, I would have no problem at all with anybody who wanted to discuss or follow up a situation that was causing them concern. I would however point out that there is rarely an emergency situation that I have ever been involved with, where later I didn't repeatedly analyse and revisit the problem, often questioning my own decisions and wondering if anything could have been done better. Often the answer is yes, something else could have been done differently, but that is with the benefit of hindsight, time, experience and information that was not readily apparent at the time.
More often there are situations that I could have taken further, or elevated, where there might have been a lesson to be learned, however sometimes you have to simply put it to bed and move on to fight another day. In the type of situation you have described, like many other of the respondents, I can see it from both sides of the divide. The stress of the incident had an adrenalin response, but once the incident was over and the adrenalin had gone, the stress remained, or perhaps grew. This isn't unusual and I really do feel you need to address it. Of course that in part is why you are asking your question here, but if the responses are not helping to reduce that stress then you must seek a resolution within your own company structure of the type I have suggested.